numero uno.

i decided to start keeping an online journal again, for reasons i'm not entirely sure of. in the past, writing has always helped me; cleared my head, sorted my thoughts; calmed me down a little. the journals never lasted long. here's to 40th chances, haha.

so um i don't really have much to write about right now.. i just created this thing and obliged in writing a first entry, so as not to make my journal look blank.

it's beautiful outside. finally new york is warming the fuck up. 82 today, 90 tomorrow. and then we're back at 59 on wednesday. ha-ha. oooh wellllll, one weekend of sunshine is good enough. i'm so sick of the rain and the cold and the wind. it's enough to make anybody want to pack up and head to arizona.

tomorrow i'm heading to a barbeque with the fam. and it's my one month anniversary with max. it feels like it's been longer than that, and shorter at the same time. it's strange how he has become absolutely everything to me in such a short amount of time, and in a healthy way, too. i mean, ali was everything to me for 2 years, but that was the most unhealthiest relationship known to mankind. with max, i am such a better person. i've quit smoking weed, i've quit doing drugs, i've quit drinking. i'm working on getting a full time job and then starting college in september. it just finally feels like everything is as it should be. i feel so fucking lucky, i feel like i've been waiting for this forever. i'm happy, and i'm sober. it just feels surreal. i'm glad i don't have to depend on mdma or any other sort of drug to feel some sort of happiness and peace.

i'm in love.

and now this is getting far too long, so i'ma "make like a ball and swoosh". LOL i love lil wayne, fuck you haters.

xo
a