like my first time that i caught fire..

:) :) :)

smiles all around.

reeeeewind. yesterday i saw ali to get one of my favorite bags back. we ended up talking a bunch and i realized that i can actually be his friend, despite of everything we've been through. i mean, maybe the smart choice would be to leave him out of my life for good, but maybe not. it was nice catching up and hearing all about his new life. he's happy for me, i'm happy for him. i'm comfortable around him and i can totally see myself being a good friend to him. i just need some more time to think about it maybe. i don't want to make a mistake. it was really easy not talking to him and keeping him out of my life, but now that we've talked and didn't argue one bit, idk.. it's going to be a lot harder telling him to step out. i plan on changing my phone number today, and until i come to terms with what the right thing to do is, i won't be talking to him. i'm just trying to be cautious, i suppose.

so this morning i went over to max's. i love him :'] haha i just don't know what else i can possibly say. he makes me so fucking happy i can't stand it. i was sitting there on his bed today and i felt like i just popped a triple stack or some shit. it was just such an incredible feeling. i couldn't believe i was completely sober and these feelings were completely natural. i love him i love him i love him.

oh & i also found out yesterday i'm going to the dominican republic with my mom for 10 days. may4th-14th. at first i was panicking and thinking OMG WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITHOUT MAX but i'll keep in touch with him and 10 days isn't such a long time. i need to get away from brooklyn anyway.. besides, these 10 days will bring us so much closer. :]

and now that i've had only about 20 minutes of sleep last night, i'm going to take a nap.


xo
a